Future Recollections

I sat there in my room recalling memories. Recalling because soon they would not be happening… good … bad… maturing… learning… touching. All moments floated through the saddening memories of my short existence.

The night sky was dark… was gray… my room was the same. As I sat alone without light, the regimental cracks in the shades revealed flashes from the lightning as the slow tides of hard and soft rainfall embarked on the roof and street as it always had.

I know the feeling of sadness. I know I am leaving. I can hear my feeling of sadness as a far and distant sound through the patter of water and the rumbling thunder that falls all around me. I hear something that has always been there but I only noticed now that sadness has come upon me.

I hear the slow constant thundering movement of the train as it cautiously moves in on my ears and I strain to feel its details. The meaning of the unforgotten horn tells me it will pass by when I return.

When it had always rained, I always heard, but never noticed the plopping of water outside my screenless window. The overly aged drain is engulfed with excess water, but I notice it now because I am leaving.

My prowless cat snoozes, just as she always has and God watches over me just as he always has. I feel young and old but not one or the other. This could be my last rainfall. A piercing lump crows to capacity in my throat as I absorb all of this.

All of this is happening here with me… all at once and all together. These few recollections take me back. Not to one thing, but to all of my memories together. They are a warm feeling and a peaceful one in my soul. It seems such a short life.

I leave my empty but crowded room and go outside. The shadowed sky cries tears of water on my eyes as I try to force them to look. I know these trees… this street… this crack and this walkway.

My wrinkled pants are rolled up and I become pat of the night… silent… slow. The shifting winds cool the fallen drops of rain on my moistening back as I glide through the water-swept gutter in the engulfed street. I am leaving and this could be my last…

I silently return to my room and close my eyes to recall once again. It has gone so fast… the past is here, and the future. The time is here… I am leaving. I will always remember…

Shannon R Killman