Day One

I walked with you, hand in hand today, to the first stop of your beginning adventure. I saw the electric nervousness that surrounded your smile. Such an important step for your innocent childhood… a new frontier to tame and to conquer. You peered around images and looked for the comfort of the friends you have made in the past… any familiarity thrust its way into your absorbing mind…

First grade… a time for an abrupt change. No more are the small pleasures available. The times of forced slumber and snack time are never more. They are being replayed only by the youth that follow you. Your world becomes larger and smaller all at once. No more do miniature chairs that direct the eyes toward each other encircle the group desk. You now possess your own space.

Individuality is creeping upon you. Your desk is isolated from playtime with others. All attentions are directed to the front… awaiting motivation from a singe source. Your teacher has been inspired to follow the pursuits of the scholars. My hope is that she sees the longing and fragile forms that sit before her. My hope is that she recognizes the importance of your first experiences.

As I released your small hand and felt the last pressure of your fingertips, I took your place in the hallway of change. You easily accepted your classroom and directed your attention toward your new capsule. I stood smiling as you investigated the magical, colorful name-tag that was placed in your view. At last! Something familiar. The rolling lines on that paper formed themselves into your name… Natalie. Look! New crayons and a picture to color while the train of parents dropped off their own little miracles. Suddenly you were transformed into preoccupation.

Your nervousness and deliberation slapped themselves upon me… the dread of leaving you held my feet to the newly polished floor. A smile and wave from your perfect little hands told me you were happy with your arrangement. The glistening sparkle in your eyes told me to relax. Suddenly, without words, you were comforting me…

My sweet and innocent child… learn well… pay attention… grasp the words and meanings that will be fruitful. Reject the negative impulses that will try to fold you into their envelope. Today is day one… it seems you came to me only yesterday. I know I must release you to your future. The first words you leaned to write echo in my mind… I love you…


Shannon R Killman