You once thought that perhaps it was God’s plan that we are not close. I wrestle with the thought… it haunts me as I sleep. I talk to God with his wisdom… His plan... I implore Him for answers… for His resolution…
I hear your sweet voice in the soft music in the quiet of my life. I feel your smile in the dusk and in the dawn. I look for you in the smiles of life. I search for you constantly. You are the last piece of the puzzle that is my life…
If you search for me, you can find me in the sweat of my brow… in my muscles that toil each day in the heat and in the cold… You can find me in my very blood… the blood that I would spill to keep you safe… in my bone and in my breath. I hold you… this puzzle piece… on my life’s journey. You have your place… your direction and I keep you and hold you tight in my memory.
I am only one man… I don’t have the answers. I don’t know the questions. I don’t see the path that has been set before us. I am anchored by time and by fear. Will you forgive me if I need forgiveness? My soul fights for balance within me… balance between life and age... and time… a struggle between my pleasures and my pains. Your life has been intertwined with mine for your eternity. There are no mistakes or excuses…
You answer my questions with brief glimpses into your life. I see it in your image… in your eyes… and in your smile… when it is quiet… when life has slowed to a lonely crawl… I will be there… I am there with a love that spills from my chest.
Is it Gods plan? His plan must have been for a daughter and her father to walk hand in hand… I love you with every heart beat… every pulse of my life’s energy…
I love you without effort…
Shannon R Killman
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