I See Her Face

We gather in the football fields inside of tracks… behind fences in parking lots and in the school yards among the other parents. We are all here for one reason… to watch our little girls run. They run in the mornings before school. They run after school with the team. They run on the weekends… they run in the cool of the mornings and in the heat of the day. They run in their dreams.

The house smells sometimes of mint and heat-rub. We have ice packs in every cavity of every freezer. I could build a mummy’s costume from the rolls of ace-bandages. I have been pulled into her sport. I was a novice as a fan… I now know the times… the splits… the sprints and the strategies… and I know the competition.

Katelin was frightened and nervous when she ran her first race last year. We were crowded amongst a sea of people in our town’s streets. There we categories for men, women, old and young. She was young and long-legged… she was my little girl surrounded by 500 other runners. We pinned her number on and she made a place for herself on the edge… in the back. She looked back to see if I was watching her… I gave her a confident smile.

She finished her first race and the pain was all over her. She looked spent and she wobbled toward me. Her hair was like wet straw and her clothes were twisted and soaked. She limped to one side and was unable to speak. Her eyes were misshapen and I could feel her exhaustion. I came to her and held my arms out to support her and she laid into my side. I knew this would be her last race.

I was wrong. We hung around for what seemed hours. We didn’t know how she placed in the race in her age group. She placed second and they hung a beautiful award around her slender neck. She smiled a smile a mile wide and looked in my direction… I saw the fire in her eyes… she couldn’t wait to enter the next race. It didn’t matter the town… it didn’t matter the time. She was ready.

Katelin has run in every region in the state. She started in the back of the pack and she now runs in the front. Her stride has straightened and she floats across the field. She is my gazelle. She has found her love. When she runs by us while we cheer… through the pain and the breath… she looks into my eyes. It is brief and it is strong… I look for my girl and I see her face… and I see her soul…

Shannon R Killman