Inhale the quiet

It is quiet and the lights of the day have come to a close. The children are sleeping in heavy breaths… curled up with tufts of covers surrounding them like a mother’s comfort.

I remember my grandmother cupping my cheek in her hand as she looked into my eyes. She would tell me that children can only grow when they sleep… she kissed the memories of my past.

The Christmas tree is full and bright. The scent of generations past falls on my eyes as I focus on one ornament and then the next. I feel the comfort of the season with every breath. And I inhale the quiet.

                               Shannon R Killman

Something from Nothing

drawing by Natalie Killman Meggs

I watched your little hands pull at the thick wooden puzzle pieces that sat in front of you. The colorful shapes were a stark contrast to the warm glow of the antique table top. Plastic buttons helped you grasp the pieces as you looked at each one… studying the shapes.

You would look at the puzzle board and back to the puzzle piece and gently guide it into place. You were always rewarded with cheers and laughter… you would clap your hands and smile with joy.

You progressed to crayons and finger paints. You would create shapes and words where there was only a blank sheet of paper. We would draw in the dirt in the yard… we would make sandcastles at the lake in the heat of the summer while the cool water lapped across our skin.

You would collect cutoffs of wood and arrange them into something new. You could take a piece of scrap lumber like an artist’s canvas and create something from nothing… drawing what came to your mind. Shells, twigs, cloth and anything within reach were only building blocks to your imagination.

And you set your goals on higher things… the goals of a young woman reaching out into the world. I love you for who you were. I love you for who you are and I love you for who you will be… and all the time you are creating something from what only your mind can see.

                                                        Shannon R Killman

Watery Cityscape

I swept out the bathroom that stood unfinished for too long… it held the promise of a shiny new room for too many summer nights and too many cold mornings. The time had come for me to finish what I had started… and the children were excited about the process.

The wall studs held pink insulation I placed between them as a sound barrier between the den and an additional unfinished bedroom. The bathroom had become a catchall for boxes of clothes in transition for younger children or on the way to Goodwill. I found a box of tools I don’t remember hiding away… a dusty sheetrock saw stood sentry over a once favorite hammer and forgotten needle nosed pliers.

I measured and cut sheets of gypsum board and hoisted them over my head while my daughter Darby stood ready with my screw gun and a small fisted number of black screws. She stood smiling as I held out my arm in her direction. We finished hanging the sheetrock that evening and over the next few days the three layers of mud filled the joints. We were on our way.

The tile floors were next. I pulled out my old dependable tile saw and set out the pattern. The familiar sounds of the thin set spinning in a bucket under a powerful drill filled the rest of the house. I would look up to find little hands eagerly trying to hand me the heavy tiles that were stacked in nearby piles. I grouted the floors the next day and was happy to see the children sponging off the powdery haze left from the drying grout joints.

I assembled the toilet with new gaskets, new interior flappers and valves. A new sticky wax ring and bolts held it firmly to the tile floor. A test on the valve and waterline provided smiles from everyone. The pedestal sink rescued from an old job site provided a challenge for my large hands. The water lines and drain lines merge together in a limited amount of space better suited for a much smaller man... I managed to get the water running hot and cold after reassembling the stubborn faucet.

An accent of glass tiles holds the moisture and water from above the shower. It has been polished and finished and matches the floor tile and fresh paint perfectly. After a lapse in memory over the correct way to wire the switches and receptacle, everything is working like it was designed to work. One double switch controls the exhaust fan and light. A single switch controls the light over the sink along with a light near the shower. There is also receptacle that stays at the ready.

I installed the glass doors in the shower along with the hardware and watched as Darby moved in and out sliding the doors open and shut and sampling the water on her bare feet. The doors moved smooth under their heavy weight and fell lightly upon the rubber bumpers screwed into the pocketed frame.

I took the first shower as a test run. The water ran hot and comfortable. My little bottle of shampoo has now been joined by bottles of shampoos and conditioner of various brands. I noticed body gels and washes along with three types of bar soap. Colorful wash cloths join a fluffy scrubber on a crowded shelf. The other bathrooms sit dry… waiting for the children to return. And I search for my shampoo in a watery cityscape of plastic bottles.

                                                            Shannon R Killman