We are the Family

The house was a bee-hive of activity. There were a hundred things to do before traveling to the upstate for a soccer tournament this morning. We push our busy schedules and merge our lives to strangers’ that become acquaintances and friends. Today, we have a new family.

We have the quiet group… away from the others... we smile and talk in bursts of politeness. There are the important ones… there are the involved and the uninvolved. There are many among us that don’t know the rules… the ones that know all of the rules and the ones that just enjoy watching the children play the game.

There are the quiet ones… the loud ones… the irritators… the ones that stand behind and the ones that stand in front. We get along… we smile and we laugh. There are the observers… the photographers… the statisticians… and there are the time keepers…

We are the sideline players… the sideline coaches… and we are the sideline referees… We are not the team… we are the drivers … we are the equipment managers... we are the haulers… we are the cheerleaders and we are the critics… We are not here for ourselves. We are here for our offspring and for each other. Now… we are the family.

Shannon R Killman

We Stood Close

I watched the rolling skies last night. The water fell upon us with a steady fury. The lightning split the sky like broken glass. From the safety of my porch… water splashed up on my feet leaving the feeling of humid stickiness.

My Grandfather grew up in the deserts of Arizona and would wait with anticipation for the torrent of nature to fall to the earth. We would stand with him on his porch that usually stood in place to protect us from the sun. We would watch the dark, thunderous clouds cascade over the mountain range.

We could smell the sweet and heavy aroma of the winds that absorbed the heat and dust of the parched earth around us. It would throw itself on our faces and swirl around our heads. The temperature of the air fell in gusts that hit our skin in layers. Small swirls of sand and desert debris scattered themselves in every direction and gathered our attention away from the clouds.

The thunder clouds reflected the light as they muscled themselves in the upper atmosphere. Grandfather would stare into the sky hoping that this time the winds would be kind. The texture of colors in the dark and light clouds gave way to the steady gray of water that made its way to our porch. The rain came in heavy drops that spattered the dust under the intermittent pattern of rain… then it would come to us… the wind was replaced by rain… the rain he remembered from his youth.

There was the smile that I remember… the smile of gratitude on his stubbled face… the smile of contentment. We changed in those years. We learned to respect the rain. We learned to stay on the porch and wait for the blessing. We stood close… the rain splashed up on our feet and left that humid stickiness that I will never forget.

I now find myself drawn to my own porch when the storms crawl upon me. I pull my head to the air and search for the aromas of the desert. My children pull themselves outside with me... and we stand close...

Shannon R Killman

the Spirit of My Mind

I want happiness… I want to see the faces of the ones I love and feel a reflection of joy… I want to feel energetic… I want to walk without notice of my limbs… I want sunshine… sunshine with dabbles of shade to cool my soul… I want smiles from strangers… smiles that are infectious to others around… I want love… the love that feels like yesterday… a yesterday of discovery… I want warmth… the warmth of a child in my arms that nears slumber… I want laughter… a laughter that pulls from my spirit… I want peace… a peace that has no plan… a peace that exists on its own merit… I want conversation… a conversation in the dim light of companionship… I want attention… the attention that is undeserved… I want friendship… friendship that is earned through years of trust and honesty… I want charity… to give without credit for the deed… I want dancing… the dance of youth and the dance of lovers… I want calm… the calm of the sunset… I want satisfaction… the satisfaction from within… I want treasures… the treasures of a prized shell on a quiet beach… I want surprises… the surprises that stop the rhythmic pulse of my heart and renews the spirit of my mind…

Shannon R Killman